Thursday, January 25, 2018

“From Barcelona with Love”

You know her and you love her, and if you don’t, you outta be ashamed of yourself. She’s the best thing since masturbation, the icing on the cake and an industry rebel in every sense of the word. She doesn’t let the world define her, she marches to the beat of her own drum and she’s not afraid to let her critiques know exactly where they can shove their opinions. She’s smart, sexy and the epitome of a rockstar!

Please welcome back to The Nerdy Side of Life, Mari Cielo Pajares! Forget “Star Wars: The Last Jedi”, this was the sequel you’ve been waiting for! Remember, English is her second language, so don’t be crap pile and give her a hard time about it, just enjoy it and appreciate the effort!

She has been up to a lot since we last spoke, always on the move like the Energizer Bunny. Try not to blink because you will miss her. Now sit back, relax and get to know her for a second time (first time here).

Here we go...

1. First things first. We had a big scare this year because you were in a bad accident. How are you feeling? Could you tell the readers what happened?

Mari Cielo Pajare: A confused driver getting in my way. I was broken but now I'm fixed, end of story. 14 stitches in my hard head, new pubis (which is always wonderful what you can experience with a new one) and some war scars to show to the kids. The car still in therapy. LOL!

2. That special someone, same sex, opposite sex or who the hell cares what they are packing in their trousers because everything goes?

Mari Cielo Pajare: LOL! Are you actually asking me if I'm gay, straight or bisexual? Nice one! First time I have ever been asked. Actually, what I do in my bed and with who I do it with is my own business. I will just tell you I'm an open minded being, not scared of learning new ways to obtain pleasure.

3. We know that you’re a fan of the horror/thriller and action genres, both acting and directing, but would you ever consider something in the comedy and/or drama department?

Mari Cielo Pajare: Absolutely! When I make a film my preferred genres are thriller, suspense, action and horror. l also like to add a twist of sci-fi in occasionally. Maybe because when I was a kid I used fiction as an escape. I like to express myself and in turn help others escape. When I do theatre I prefer comedy. I love to make people laugh, as difficult as it is. I'm a walking clown 24/7 and I usually entertain them with my own dramas.

4. Pets. Have some, don’t want any or maybe later on down the road? If you do have some, are they from the creepy crawly family or the cute and cuddly one?

Mari Cielo Pajare: I used to have a wolf a long time ago, and had some cats too. I'm an animal lover. Any kind, I’m not going to judge an animal, they don't do it with us so who am I to do it with them? I would LOVE to live surrounded by animals, they give me so much peace, stability and love, but unfortunately I travel a LOT and if I can't take care of them I won't have them. They are not toys, they are living beings that miss you and you very much miss them too.

5. What does the future hold for you as far as your career is concerned? What can we expect to see with your name attached to it or with you starring in?

Mari Cielo Pajare: Who knows! LOL. I'm open to explore whatever new projects land in my hands, and I create as much as I breathe so I always have something going on.

6. You have won many awards throughout your career, what are some of the most meaningful?

Mari Cielo Pajare: Winning something is always delightful, and whoever tells you they don't care lies. Winning a bet with a friend to winning the Oscars, it’s all good. We won 20 awards in my company and over 100 nominations, all of them are important to us and we are grateful to have been chosen with our humble films from thousands of projects submitted to these festivals. I must confess though that winning best actress at the Macabre Faire of New York was an amazing experience.


7. Netflix and chill or Screambox and thrill?

Mari Cielo Pajare: Street or beach and let's burn it.

8. Who are your idols, your heroes and your inspirations? Whose work do you admire? Whose work ethic do you hope to emulate? Who gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling in your tummy, in the good way like butterflies, not in the bad way like diarrhea? 

Mari Cielo Pajare: So many inspiring men and women! Not easy to choose just a few. I guess that it depends on what are you really asking. Inspiring in my work as an actress or writer/director? Hitchcock, M. Night, Stephen King, Rod Serling, Victoria Abril and Jodie Foster are among some of who I admire.

In life as a guide for understanding? Nietzsche, Sartre, Hume, Voltaire are amazing people that throughout my life fucked me up and taught me what hurts and why.

Whose work do you admire? Professionally? Let's start with my father and some of my ex's. I need to admire a man to love him. Some will say it's admiration not love, but I'm fucked up and functional, what can I say.

I need music in my life too, so I'll tell you that I admire Freddie Mercury, Mozart, Foo Fighters, The Cure, Muse, Linkin Park and Bach to name a few.

I also admire the work of unknown people that sacrifice themselves to give us a better shittier matrix reality to live more comfortably. Those who we will never know their names but invented an amazing pain killer, a solution to opening a wine bottle easily. Jokes aside, too many people to mention in one interview.

Whose work ethic do you hope to emulate?  None! I have my own. Everyone has theirs.

Who gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling in your tummy, in the good way like butterflies, not in the bad way like diarrhea? Not sharing that kind of info. Butterflies are delicate and die if they have too many eyes on them, they like to fly free and avoid opinions. There are curious fuckers that entertain themselves by cutting off their wings.

9. Girls just want to have fun or taking care of business?

Mari Cielo Pajare: Girls have time for everything.

10. What advice would you give all the young ladies hoping to following in your footsteps?

Mari Cielo Pajare: Don't do that shit! LOL!

11. How do you feel about Hollywood spending all their time remaking all these old and stale ideas instead of searching the underground for something new and fresh?

Mari Cielo Pajare: I hate people touching the classics. Sorry, no respect for those who don't bring new creations to life and twist what it's already perfect.


12. When you’re not busy with your career, what are some of the things you like to do for fun?

Mari Cielo Pajare: Anything. Lately I'm exploring my fears, so trying things I thought I would not be able to do. Then I have my go-to fun stuff like reading, (mythology, history and good suspense books are my favorites), anything related to water (swim, jet ski, diving, a nice bath at home), and of course sex. I'm picky, most of the time the idea of the bath and a good book s better than any option you have at that moment. I also enjoy cinema, theatre, life music, traveling, museums, billiards, walking, listening to music and sports.

13. What are your thoughts on the current state of the industry? How do you feel about all these allegations being brought to the forefront about powerful men abusing their positions and taking advantage of young women who are looking to make a name for themselves in the business?

Mari Cielo Pajare: Don't make me talk about it. They will burn me alive! I just think it is horrible that these kinds of things happen to men and women, but we are drowning in a hysteria about it. Any asshole can screw up the career of someone else just by inventing something or exaggerating an event. I find this disgusting too and disrespect for the victims of REAL abuses.

14. Smoke them if you got them or that crap is pure nastiness?

Mari Cielo Pajare: Smoke them if you got them always.

15. Would you consider yourself a girly girl, a tomboy or a hybrid version of both?

Mari Cielo Pajare: Haha! Well let's say that I'm an adorable girly girl trapped in a tomboy's attitude.

Well folks, that’s all she wrote…at least for now anyway.

Here’s what she’s been up too since we last had the pleasure of speaking with her:

Her project "666 Telemarketing" ended festival circuit with a total of 20 international awards and 70 official selections.

She started the festival circuit with the pilot for "The Bet" from the "Styx" series, and not with a bad start at all (7 awards/ 17 official selections in only a couple of months). She is also considering the possibility of transforming the project in an anthology feature film.

She’s doing a lot of theatre in Barcelona where she is currently living. She was in Microteatre Barcelona "Nadie es Perfecto" for the month of December and premiered 3 more times in the month of January in Barcelona & LA "El Secuestro" (at L'Espai Poe (Tic) Barcelona), "BC/AD" (at The Secret Rose Theatre LA) & "A mi también me gusta el jodido pavo" (at L'Espai Poe (Tic) Barcelona).

She will be the lead in the film "The Cellar", which was recently in the 50th Sitges Film Festival.

Needless to say she is a very busy woman, always on the go and making something happen.

I hope you enjoyed getting to know Mari Cielo Pajare better and that you’ll check out her work. Support a struggling, and completely original/unique artist or you’ll be stuck with remakes for the rest of your life.

Follow her on:


MJM

Monday, March 20, 2017

“Nerd Perv"


When it comes to superheroes I have some questions, and not your typical “who could beat who” nonsense, but rather something deeper and darker. Something’s that should possible stay hidden away like their secret identities, only to protect the innocent of course. The things I want to know are perverted, off-color and to some even downright disgusting. This is stuff we all want to know but most are too embarrassed to ask because they don’t want to come off as odd or immature, but thankfully I’m way past that so here goes.
  
Consider yourself warned like a hero who just foiled a villain’s master plan and is told by said villain that they will indeed be back to get their revenge! However, if you’re okay with that and willing to come along for the ride than buckle up and keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times.  

1. Would sex with Shazam be considered statutory rape?

2. Is giving Superman oral sex the same thing as sucking on the barrel of a 
loaded 12-guage shotgun with a hair trigger? 

3. Does Aquaman bob his fish stick; spank his sea monkey, to the mermaid on the Chicken of the Sea tuna label or does he prefer women with legs who don’t feel all that fresh, you know like they’re not going to be playing tennis and/or horseback riding anytime soon?

4. Did Reed Richards get the name Mr. Fantastic because of the things he can do in the bedroom? Think about it, his junk could go from white to black in the blink of an eye! He could also act as his own condom, so you could have that raw dog feel without the risk of disease or something even worse, kids!

5. Is Stripperella's superpower that she can take in all of Tommy Lee's (Motley Crue) albino anaconda without crying? Do you think she’s working her way through superhero school?

6. Do you think that Bruce Wayne talks in the "Batman" voice when he's pleasuring himself? When he does the deed with one of his lady friends, or Robin (Holy Butt Sex, Batman) if he goes that way, do “Bat-Fight Words” like POW, BAM and KAPOW pop up? 

7. Does the Thing call his manhood the Thingie?

8. Does Stan Lee shout out, “excelsior” when he climaxes?

9. Is Ghost Rider’s bone a bone, and if so is it flaming like his head?

10. Have the Joker and Harley Quinn ever been guests on The Jerry Springer Show, and if they haven’t they totally should be, imagine all the shenanigans, chaos and ratings that would bring?



11. Do you think that the Hulk is secretly gay and afraid to come out of the closet due to fear of ridicule, thus causing all that animosity and rage towards his fellow heroes? I mean come on, who else besides a gay guy would refer to himself as “incredible”? He obviously hits the gym like a gay guy would, just check out the physique. Now if we were talking about the Blob, there would be no doubt in my mind that he’s straight. I personally think the Jade Giant has a thing (a great big green thing huh huh) for Wolverine. Speaking of dude-on-dude action, would it be consider incest if the gray and green Hulk got it on or jungle fever?

12. Do female superheroes/villains get pissed that they have to run around in next to nothing while for the most part their male counterparts are covered from head to toe? Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining about this arrangement at all, I just don’t want Wonder Woman going all Amazonian on me for being sexist.  

13. With a name like “Daredevil”, one would believe that he would have no problem utilizing all the random glory holes he finds throughout the city, am I right? He is “The man without fear” after all.

14. Does being known as, "The fastest man alive" hurt the Flash’s chances with the ladies? I’m sure no woman wants to risk a “bushfire” from all the speed and friction that dude would bring onto her lady parts.

15. Does PETA get upset when people have sex with the Beast, and speaking of which, is it considered bestiality or just some crazy fetish? 



16. Spider-man’s junk, does it shoot out your typical man’s milk when all is said and done or does it shoot out webs? Is it easier or harder to get pregnant from webs?

17. How often is Hellboy horny?

18. Do superheroes/villains dress up as regular people when they go to conventions?

19. Al Simmons (Spawn) has to be into sadomasochism and bondage, right? I mean he hangs around with a guy named “Violator” (who dresses like a clown mind you), which leaves one to wonder what it is exactly that he’s violating! Yes, Mistress Malebolgia…just saying.

20. Could Groot be the offspring of Swamp Thing and the Tree of Souls (Na'vi name: Vitraya Ramunong - Avatar)? Perhaps one day Swamp Thing shot his sap all over the tree's roots and then the next thing you know, along came Groot.

21. Is Squirrel Girl is really all about the nut or is she just a big tease?

22. Does Darkman use condoms or does he just slap on some of that synthetic skin he invented and he’s good to go? Does his manhood look like a Slim Jim? Imagine all the fun you could have role-playing with him in the bedroom!

23. I’m convinced that Handi-Man’s secret identity is none other than President Donald Trump! Think about it, who would suspect him? He openly mocks and attacks minorities and handicapped people to throw everyone off his scent. Him being a handicapped minority superhero, the only thing that would make it better is if he was Handi-Lesbian!

24. Deadshot never misses! Now with that said it must be true that he is just as accurate with his love gun as he is with a real gun, right? They both shoot projectiles and depending on the circumstances both are just as dangerous. If he happens to get a female pregnant, or glue her eye shut it's because he meant to do that shit, no excuses. I can only imagine the kind of trouble this guy gets into. I do wonder if his sperm is just as lethal, for example could they get someone pregnant and also give them an abortion at the same time?

25. Do you think Cable sometimes masturbates with his metal hand so that he can pretend he’s getting a handjob by a robot? 

‘Nuff Said.

Well there you have it, some of the strange and unusual things that dwell in the depths of my ever-so-perverted mind. I can’t be alone here, but who else is going to openly admit to wondering these things too? Feel free to let me know your thoughts and to share any questions on the topic you may have. 

MJM

Monday, February 22, 2016

“Nerdy by Nature: Deadpool, The Walking Dead and Call of Duty”


First things first, here are my credentials and why you should listen to me as if I was Charles Manson and you one of my family.

I’ve been a nerd since as far back as I can remember. Sported superhero underoos and PJs once I was out of diapers, and still do to this day. While my friends (and by friends I mean siblings and other kids whose parents felt sorry for me and made them play with me), were outside playing sports I was inside chilling with a dungeon master. As we sipped on some cool refreshing Tang we adventured out into the land of make-believe, and I’m not talking about Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood here, we journeyed to places filled with such vile and disgusting creatures that it made the Democratic/Republican debates look like beauty pageants. 
  
I collected action figures (not dolls). I played video games as if they were my meth and I their addict. The only books I read had more men in tights than a RuPaul party. Watched cartoons like how Republicans watch Fox News. While artists like Michael Jackson and Madonna blasted from other people’s radios, I was jamming out to “Weird Al” Yankovic on my Sony Walkman. The list can go on and on, but I’m sure by now you get the picture.

If it was something that you would likely get beaten up and/or ridiculed for partaking in, that was my scene. Well at least back in the day it was, because somehow we went from Revenge of the Nerds to The Big Bang Theory, now instead of nerds being picked on they are looked upon like rockstars. How times change.

Secondly, you are about to enter the danger zone! Well okay not the danger zone necessarily, but at least the potential spoiler zone, so tread lightly. I separated the sections to make things easier, that way if you haven’t seen and/or played something and you didn’t want it spoiled, you could just hop over it like Frogger.

Here we go…




“Deadpool”

The Deadpool video game is totally worth playing, especially if you’re a fan. If you haven’t checked it out yet, you definitely should. Sure the camera could use a little work, but overall a gaming experience totally worth having.

Next, which could actually be first, all depending on your desire to see it in the theaters or on Blu-ray, watch the Deadpool movie! It is hands down one of the best superdude (he doesn’t like being called a hero and considering how he’s not playing with a full deck and packing a shitload of weapons I don’t really think it’s best to insult the man) movies to come along, like in forever.

The action is awesome, funny as hell and full of lots of comic booky goodness and Easter eggs galore. Sure the story is kind of predictable and a little cliché at times, but unless you’re possessed by the spirits of Siskel and Ebert, you don’t go to a movie like this expecting to be blown away by the story.

Just in case I may have scared some of you away from seeing this movie, making you think you had to be a fan of Mr. Pool and his comic books prior to seeing it to fully enjoy it and/or a fan of superheroes in general, there is nothing further from the truth. From the novice to the expert, there is something here for everyone and a guaranteed good time.  

** Disclaimer, this isn’t Spider-man, it’s rated R for a reason, so I wouldn’t recommend bringing the wee little ones to see it. **




“The Walking Dead”

For the record, I’m only talking about the television show here, season six in particular, not the comic book. I have never read any of the books in the series, maybe one day but as of right now not one, so please keep that in mind when reading what I have written. 

I cannot honestly say I was a fan from the beginning. I entered the mix pre-badass Carol, she was still taking punches from her old man and not scaring the shit out of children, you know picking flowers instead of telling people to look at them. After catching an episode one Sunday night when I had no more football to watch, I quickly realized how kick-ass it was and got instantly hooked like a largemouth bass, and the rest is history.

Now here comes season six, which I anxiously anticipated like a kid waiting for Christmas morning. Tuned in every week like the good little viewer I was, even stayed afterwards to watch Talking Dead. However, something was awry in Alexandria, and I’m not referring to those overly annoying neighbors of everyone’s favorite walker killing badasses, Rick and the Rickites.
  
The Walking Dead was becoming one of "those" shows. Michael Bay-esque style explosions for no other reason than because they can. We have people dying for nothing more than shock value, only later to be revealed that they weren't really dead to begin with, and now leaving us to question whether a death is real or a sham. Those ever so predictable characters that are only thrown into the story to be walker chow, for example the Anderson family, because we all know that if they were on Star Trek their shirts would be red.

The only thing missing is the evil twin and we’ll have ourselves a soap opera! I love the show, but season six is definitely leaving me scratching my head in confusion and concern (and no it’s not lice). It’s like Night of the Living Dead and Kill Bill had a baby, and not a cute baby either, but rather one so ugly it’ll make a train take a dirt road. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that things will end on a high note, but as of right now this season is my least favorite of the series.




“Call of Duty”

I don’t have a problem with the game as a whole, or even Activision’s desire to milk that cash cow dry, because honestly I would do the same thing if I was in their shoes. My problem, like many other gamers, lies with the multiplayer aspect, mainly with all those little bitches and bastards who would make Damien look like a saint. Sure not all are bad and disruptive, but unfortunately most are, and we all know that one bad wipe spoils the britches.

I don’t claim to be any good, truthfully I can’t even hold my own, I just enjoy playing the game. I know if they had to pick multiplayer teams I would be picked last and I’m perfectly cool with that. I even understand the competitive aspect of it, and having me on the team would definitely hinder that, so I get some people wanting to go all Tasmanian devil on me. Now with that said, I can’t stand when these gits treat me like I’m the new kid in town, as if it’s my first time holding a controller.
  
I may not have all the time in the world to game nowadays (stupid adult responsibilities), and when it comes to certain games I may just be a born-again noob (or an old school noob), but I’ve been playing video games while most of these fuggers were still, what Michael Phelps would do in a pool and another name for dad squirrel’s lunch bag (I’m trying not to be vulgar here). That in a “nut” shell is what drives me cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs in regards to the online community in those games. Does this make me sound like a cranky old gamer, I’m sure it does, but those youngins’ need to learn respect for their elders…and to stay off my lawn!

These fools need to be visited by a Mr. O.J. Simpson…and remember if the NES Power Glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit! They think they’re all hot poop because they can mow down people like they were grass on the virtual battlefield, but let’s see how they do with Ghosts ‘n Goblins or Battletoads.

The End...

There you have it, the first chapter in the Nerdy by Nature saga, and possibly the last depending on how well this piece is received. Feel free to let me know what you think, even if it is ripping me a new one, just please be gentle because I really don’t like things by my old one. 

MJM

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

“I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night and Party (with Karina Kantas) Every Day”


Hello out there all you donkey kicking mo’ fuggers out there in cyberspace! First off, thank you so very much for stopping by “The Nerdy Side of Life” blog, you all freaking rock and I greatly appreciate it. Secondly, please welcome my very special guest Karina Kantas to our ranks, and make sure to show her some much deserved love. Here’s more about her, check it out and feel free to ask questions.

Take it away Karina Kantas (or Miss Kantas if you’re nasty)…


With my love for rock music and S.E.Hinton's YA novels, it's no surprise my first novel was in the rebel teen fiction genre. My following novels are MC thrillers. But those that have read my short story collections Heads & Tales and UNDRESSED know I'm not just a "one genre" author.

Born in the midlands UK, I grew up in a poor, rough area of town and used my writing to escape an unsettling reality. Delving deep into my characters' minds and hearts, I give my readers thought provoking and sometimes dark and violent story-lines.

I have over thirty publications including book reviews, film reviews, poetry and articles.

Nominated top ten of female authors of biker fiction, my horror story Crossed, also won the first prize in an International Short Story contest. 

With an International fan base, you can find me on popular network sites such as Twitter and Facebook where I'm only too happy to interact with my readers.

No matter what genre of fiction I write, you'll always hear loud rock music playing while I work, as it allows me to fade away and become one with my characters.

Don't except happy endings in my novels as I write about real life.

What you will get is exciting story-lines that will have you glued to the pages and desperate for more.

I live on the beautiful Island of Corfu with my Greek husband and two daughters.

Karina Kantas

Here’s what has been said about her works…

In Times of Violence

“It’s about love, respect and the feeling of belonging.”
Jade’s infatuation with Marcus, head of the Tyrants, leads to a dangerous situation.

‘I was able to see part of myself with the decisions they made.’

‘Excellent storyline, riveting read.’

‘It’s amazing. I love the rawness of it.’





Huntress

Sofi thinks she can walk into an outlaw MC and kill the president. But once she enters the wolves’ den there is no escape.
Love and revenge entwine in this raw emotional thriller.

‘Absolutely loved this book.’

‘A gritty story of revenge.’

‘Sad when it finished. It left me wanting more.’





Lawless Justice

Time for the boys to ride bitch.
These Kittnz have claws!
Six empowering women that own the night.

‘A story like you’ve never read before.’

‘This book goes to work kicking ass.’

‘Violent, sexy, moving.’







Road Rage

Gem learns too late that the sponsored racing club, RAGE are no different to the outlaw MC she escaped from.

‘A thrilling nerve tingling ride.”

‘This book doesn’t slow down. Detailed and colorfully twisted.

“Vivid and captivating. The sex and violence just adds depth.’






Cover designed by Stephen Blundell

Well…pretty frigging awesome, right? Great things are yet to come from her; I have no doubt about that. Keep your eyes peeled for what’s to come, and don’t forget to support her and her work if you enjoyed what she had to say here. I know I will, because I am a fan for sure.



MJM

Friday, July 10, 2015

“…And Now for the Entertainment News”


Since Hollywood doesn’t seem to have an original thought left in its head, they decided to start a new genre and to see where it goes from there.

Please welcome horror porn into the mix!

Honestly most horror movies are only a few naked women away from being a porno anyways, so this actually makes perfect sense if you think about it.

First movie in this new genre to star Ron Jeremy as the killer, because we all know if looks could kill this dude would be a lethal weapon, a real killing machine.

He will play Fatty Krueger in the upcoming film “A Nightmare on Skeet Street”.

While Freddy has a glove with four knives, Fatty will be sporting only one, and it will be hanging off the end of his junk.

Gives new meaning to the whole “Naked and Afraid” thing, doesn’t it?

When it comes to the film’s score.

Just imagine the Friday the 13th theme with a woman in the background moaning in ecstasy, talk about music to your ears.


Fox Studios to bring the hit sitcom “What's Happening” to theaters next summer, with Kanye West (Mr. Kim Kardashian if you’re nasty) to star as the wisecracking Dee Thomas.

Kanye is also up for the role of the extremely irritating alien Jar Jar Binks in the next installment of the Star Wars movies.

This decision did not come about because he is a great actor, but more so because he is just as annoying and makes about as much sense when he opens his mouth as Mr. Binks does.

Needless to say fans were not pleased with this casting choice, especially after he took it upon himself to jump up on stage when Chewbacca was accepting the award for “best space furry”, beating out the Ewoks and Tribbles, just to express his disgust with the (space) academy over their choice.

Apparently he thought the dogs from “Space Buddies” should have won because, and I quote, “Those doggies are just so gosh darn adorable and when they lick my face it reminds me of Kim”.


Now onto the “boob tube”, and in this particular case I mean that literally.

CNN decided instead of just allowing boobs to fill up their channel with inane ramblings about topics they know absolutely nothing about, they would show actual boobs, like the ones women have.


Some of the new shows to premier soon are “Boob Watch”, which is just Bay Watch without all the Hasselhoff crap, and the game show “The Price is Right…for Boobs” with Bob Barker as the host.

They are also considering changing the name of the channel from the Cable News Network (CNN) to Boobs “R” Awesome (BRA), which they think would be more fitting for their new format.


A hidden camera show will soon be upon us, called “Blue and Red”, and only to air during an election.

Once you cast your vote, the host will jump out and yell, “You’ve been veto’ed” and smack you upside your head.

All the viewers would get a good laugh at you, Democrat or Republican, left or right, whatever side it is that you so blindly choose to align yourself with, for believing anything the candidates say/promise and/or for buying into their hype machine (Change, yeah right).


A new reality show to soon hit the airwaves called, "Fat People in Florida".
The premise is simple, a bunch of fat people outside in the Florida heat, see who can last the longest without going inside to the AC.

The winner to receive an all-expense paid trip to the fabulous Golden Coral negative four star restaurant in beautiful Tampa, Florida.

Thankfully considering the average belly size here in good old Florida, there is no shortage of contestants.


Continuing on with what’s to come in the world of reality television.
"So You Think You Can Make Whoopee" to debut this Fall on NBC, with judges Jenna Jameson, Monica Lewinsky and Bill Cosby, who comes packing a Pez dispenser filled with prescription Quaaludes.

Talk about must see TV.


Survivor is back, this time in America, so get ready to not only watch, but also participate in the all new Survivor America!


Forget an Island, we're going for ratings here, your ass is voted off the continent!

We are all contestants, and instead of a cash prizes, the winners get a piece of mind knowing that they are bettering the country, and raising the overall national IQ.

Each week we vote to castoff one person, like for example that donut licking, American hating Ariana Grande…just saying.

Thankfully our country is full of idiots and morons, someone is always doing something crazy (i.e. Jason Pierre-Paul, Al Sharpton, Donald Trump, just to name a few), so this show will be on the airwaves for a very long time to come.


Finally on the reality television front, we have a new romantic series in the works that will debut soon on ABC.

The show is called, “Who Wants to Marry a Divorced Millionaire Bachelor Model Who's Cheating on the Mother of His Six Kids with a Wannabe Celebrity Who Will Do Anything to be in the Spotlight. **cough** Tila Tequila **cough**


During a recent promotional event for the show, an executive at ABC was asked what he thought about it, he stated that he was very pleased, thought it reflected strong family values and high standards, just none of that sinful gay stuff because of course they are trying to keep things sanctified.


Now for a little bit of music news.

Axel Rose not happy with the performance of Guns N’ Roses last album (Chinese Democracy for those of you who stopped following them in the 90s), decided it was time for drastic measures, that is if he ever hoped to be rocking arenas again and not performing at Bar Mitzvahs anymore.

He decided it was time for another all covers album, this time to feature theme songs from popular television shows.

Selections that have already been confirmed are, The Golden Girls theme, The Facts of Life theme and the ever rocking Brady Bunch theme.


Nirvana is reuniting and planning a worldwide tour!

I know what you’re thinking, how could this be, especially since the last time we saw Kurt Cobain he was sucking on the barrel of a shotgun.

Well the other two surviving members are planning on exhuming his body and doing it Weekend at Bernie's style.

They are calling the tour, The Smells like Teen Unwashed Ass Tour.

Get your tickets now because they are going fast, how fast you ask, they will come and go quicker than Courtney Love’s career.


Well that’s all for me, and now, here's Ollie Williams with the Blackuweather Forecast. Ollie?


MJM

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

“Genetically Mutated, Undead Super-Humans on a Plane? When Sharks Fly!”

Welcome to the world of “Sky Sharks”…what is that you ask, well read on and all your questions will be answered, and then some.

We all know that Jaws made you afraid to go into the water; well these high-flying beasts who come equip with rows of razor-sharp teeth, a full arsenal of death-dealing weapons and genetically mutated, undead super-human pilots will make you afraid to go into the sky…and just about anywhere else for that matter.


Sky Sharks is like Jaws on meth, makes it look like a swim in the kiddie pool.

Check out the interview below, and when all is said and done, do yourself a huge favor and check out the trailer for this soon-to-be “greatest cult movie off all-time”, trust me you won’t be disappointed!


Also check out the team’s Kickstarter page, and if you happen to be so fortunate enough to donate then please do, but if you’re not in a position to, then please help them spread the word so that they can get this project completed.

All questions are answered by the fantastic Mr. Marc Fehse, the projects director, and the best thing to come along to the film world since the movie camera itself.


(Please remember there is a little bit of a language barrier, English is not his native tongue, so keep that in mind when you’re reading)

Lights, Camera, Action…

1. How did an insanely awesome project such as this come about?

Marc Fehse: You need to dream, and when you wake…remember. ;) 

Then you need someone who shares your passion for movies like this!

2. Flying sharks, Nazi zombies and buckets full of blood, the only thing missing here is nudity…please tell me there will be nudity, preferably of the female kind?

Marc Fehse: Is the Pope Catholic? 

Sure, and a lot of it. 

We some good sex scenes, beach scenes, shower scenes etc…you know what I mean, knick – knack! ;)

3. Could you please make this into a video game, or at least a ride at Universal Studios?

Marc Fehse: I would love to make a videogame out of it. I got an idea to start with an App game for all mobile devices.

4. What other films have you been associated with, because honestly after seeing this gem (trailer only obviously since it’s not yet been released, but I can’t wait for the final product and I have no doubt I won’t be disappointed) I personally would love to check out your other work?

Marc Fehse: With all I like, you need to know that I have been a great film fan since I was 8 years old, starting with Super 8 doing stop motion movies.

Now, back to your question, we will put in a lot blood, action, nudity, shark rides, air fights, Vietnam War scenes, WW2 war scenes and much more….and I really hope you like the end result!

5. Please tell us that you have more great ideas like this in the pipeline and/or scheduled for the future, pretty please with cheddar cheese?

Marc Fehse: For Sure. We started making feature movies back in 1996 with an indi zombie Nazi flick called “Mutation”.

We did a road buddy movie called “Sex,Dogz and Rock n Roll” and we worked on "Spores".

The people want Sky Sharks now, so we will work later on Spores to finish it.

I got so many ideas and concepts, so please don’t worry, there will be more coming out soon. ;)

6. We all know that Hollywood is full of a bunch of elitist bitches and bastards, who wouldn’t know a good movie if it feel out of the sky and hit them on the head.

Now with that said, it goes without saying that this masterpiece will surely go unrecognized by the so-called critics and mainstream award shows which the masses live and die by.

I was just wondering if you would accept my little league baseball trophy for all your hard work and originality?

I know it’s not much but it’s all I have, and I really want to show you my appreciation for you trying something new and different in a world full of unambitious and lackluster movie makers. 

Marc Fehse: It will be an honor for me! 

7. With Hollywood full of remakes, reboots and 80s nostalgia out the ass, it’s a breath of fresh air to see something like Sky Sharks come around, that should make you feel proud, so does it?

Marc Fehse: On one side yes, but on the other side I understand that the studios will be save with their investments, but I do agree so many boring reboots and sequels coming out and we think, “hey man there so many good scripts out there, give them a try”!

8. Will there be a 3D version of the film released…please say yes?

Marc Fehse: We thought of shooting in Stereoscopic, but it is very tough to do work with, but we think a good conversation of it will be cool!

9. I know it hasn’t even been released yet, but if Sky Sharks does well will there be a sequel? **Fingers crossed**

Marc Fehse: Yes, I have a lot of cool Ideas for it. ;)

10. What an amazing cast of characters you have in this movie, such wonderful actors and actresses, what was it like working with this incredible talent?

Marc Fehse: It was a pleasure to work with people who know their jobs.

When you need to work with a short time period, you need actors that know what to do.

Robert told me, that he felt blessed that someone like me gave him the role of a priest and not of a gangster, so I got the chance to show the audience the different skills he has, that he never got the chance to show before.

For me this was a gift to work with!

11. How would you describe this movie?

Marc Fehse: The mother of all trash movies! ;)

12. When and where can we expect to see this beauty when it’s released?

Marc Fehse: I think around the world, we will release Sky Sharks mid-2017.

Roll the end credits…

Well there you have it, the 411 on Sky Sharks and the director who is leading the triumphant charge.

I’m like a kid waiting for Christmas morning so that I can get that special present that I know I’m getting because I peeked in the back of the closet, and it can’t come soon enough.

(Don’t forget to show the Sky Shark team so love)




MJM