Monday, February 25, 2013

"Taking Time to Smell the Roses in Virtual Reality World"

I believe one of the main reasons it takes me so much longer than most to complete a game, is because I love to explore the virtual world I'm in. So many games have such beautiful hidden landscapes; it's unfortunate they go unseen. If you have the time, go back and take a sightseeing tour through your favorite game, you might be pleasantly surprised as to what you find.

I can't see how some critics can say that video games aren't a form of art; if they actually took the time to experience what they really had to offer I believe they would be blown away, and have a change of heart. I mean if those stupid Magic Eye pictures from the early 90's can be consider art, then why can't video games? Honestly, I only think they're stupid because I could never see the freaking picture within the picture.

The last few examples of this that I can think of off my head would be Borderlands, Killzone 3, and Crysis 2. Sure all three of the aforementioned titles are vastly different from one and another, but what they have to offer visually is stunning. However, the game that really made me think about this was Skyrim, this game is visually gorgeous and breathtaking.

Being a level designer seems to be a very under appreciated job, which is a shame because some of them do great work and should be commended for it. I know I'm letting my "sissy" flag fly high by admitting I like to explore the scenery and appreciate it as if I was looking at one of those "wish you were here" postcards, but I'm okay with that. I'm the type of person who could sit at the beach for hours just to watch the sunset and to feel the breeze; it doesn't take too much to make me happy. I know what I said sounds like a dating profile line, but I'm just making a point.


Thursday, February 21, 2013

"Son of a Biscuit Kentucky Fried Chicken Mother Humper...Stupid Playstation"

Sorry for the profanities...but I am somewhat perturbed at Sony right now.
I just found out that two of the upcoming titles for the PS4 are going to be a new installment in the Killzone and InFamous series (both look awesome by the way)...Killzone and InFamous are two of my all-time favorite Playstation one may ask, why so glum chum...and my answer would be, because I'm not ready to hangup my PS3 and/or shell out half a grand on a new console....especially when I know these games could have been released on the PS3.
Oh and I also heard that Diablo 3 is coming to the PS4...which is another game I wanted to play but couldn't because I didn't have a high quality gaming is so unfair.
Now I know I should just run right out and buy the PS4 and a high quality gaming the terrorist don't win...but stupid life has already staked claim to all my money...I'm tapped like a keg at a frat house. I've even tried taking up pole dancing...I figured since it helped so many young women work their way through school, that it could also help me raise enough money to purchase a PS4...but I'm way too awkward...every time I jumped up and tried to wrap my legs on the pole I fell flat on my back.
Just another hard day in the life of a G (which stands for gamer for all you noobs out there).

Monday, February 18, 2013

"Mobile Gaming "

I could never see myself playing video games on my phone and/or any other similar device for that matter...besides of course games like "Words with Friends"...thanks to that stupid Alec Baldwin. They just did nothing for me...didn't appeal to me in the slightest. Kind of like how I used to feel about FPS...and now I play the poop out of those...I suck like Monica Lewinsky, but it's all good because I have a lot of fun.

I don't know if it was because the screens were too small, the thought that the games were too easy or the idea that all mobile games were like Farmville and/or Mafia Wars...which by the way, I did buy into all the hype and tried them both...and they sucked donkey.

That all changed however, when I picked up the Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 a few days I'm a junkie and really enjoying myself...a whole new world has opened up to me. I even downloaded a few roms and started playing some old school games...I was getting down with Kung Fu and Super Mario like I was back in the 80's.

I must say, I am now a fan and looking for more games to satisfy my gaming needs...I've even found myself playing on my tablet more so than I have on my PS3/Xbox 360 as of that bad thing? Am I evolving as a gamer...or am I going backwards...should I throw my tablet out the window and grab hold of the controller asap...or is everything going according to plan and no need for alarm?


Sunday, February 17, 2013

"Game Over"

Just like any other gamer I hate to die while playing a video game (and of course in real life too) but unfortunately more times the not, I do. Me being the suck butt kind of player I am today, I do die...and I die a I get to experience all the different "Game Over" screens. After one of my deaths today I started to wonder, what games have the worst "Game Over" know, the games that really rub it in and make you feel like crap for dying.

I used to believe it was the Call of Duty games while playing multiplayer, they have those killcams that show how your demise came about...letting you relive the horror over again. However, after thinking about it for a bit I realized that the killcam was actually a pretty useful tool you could use to your advantage. Watching it allows you to see where the person, or better yet, the punk ass mo fo was hiding who took you out. So unless you're a complete moron you won't make the same mistake again and now you'll actually be able to sneak up behind them and take them out...which by the way is very gratifying.

After ruling out Call of Duty, my next choice would have to be the God of War games. Mainly because they don't just say "Game Over" they bust out with a very matter-of-factly "You Are Dead"...just incase you had any doubts or delusions to the contrary.

The main game that drove me to wanting to drop kick my television many times over would have to be Duck Hunt for the NES. I know it sounds silly but I couldn't stand when that stupid dog would pop up from the grass and laugh at me when I did poorly. I could be wrong but I do think to a certain extent this could be considered an early form of cyber bullying. To this day I still wake up in cold sweats some nights after having nightmares about that stupid dog...some people have flashbacks from the war, I have them from playing Duck Hunt.

I'm sure there are many others I'm missing but my memory isn't what it used to be, it is a side effect of getting older, your mind goes and may experience anal seepage, headaches, dizziness, nausea and blurred vision. If any of these symptoms occur please consult your doctor right away, if all of them occur...wipe your butt, say your goodbyes and consult a mortician.

By the way, why is it called "game over"...when in all reality it's not? All you have to do is press the start button and you're ready to go again. Shouldn't it be called something like "to be continued" or maybe even "game over...or is it"?


Friday, February 15, 2013

"Next Gen Consoles Can Suck it!"

By "suck it' of course I don't mean literally, so get your mind out of the gutter, because if they really could "suck it" I would definitely be getting one...just don't put in the wrong disc when you get started, because there's a big difference between Kratos and the chicks from Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball.
By the end of 2013 we'll most likely have the next gen consoles of all three of the major players (Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony) in the game out on the market and possibly even some new comers, and I for one am not happy about it. I'm not ready, I'm still having way too much fun with the Wii, PS3 and the Xbox 360 to want to toss them aside just to make room for the new. We all know when the next gen consoles come out, the current gen consoles will become forgotten relics, with no support at all...they will be like the kid whose parents just brought home his new baby brother/sister from the hospital...they will be tossed aside and unloved.
I know support won't disappear day one, but it will happen with a quickness and that's what scares me. I also know that there will be new games being released for this generation of consoles, but not enough to really make an avid gamer cry out in excitement...I would really hate to walk into a Best Buy and/or Gamestop and see only three or four new games to choose from......all year
My backlog is off the shelf....literally off the shelf, and I'm OK with that. So I may just stay in this gen for as long as possible, holding off buying anything next gen until completely necessary. I am playing the games I have, but with limited time and this thing called life always getting in the way it's hard to finish them all. I think I'm insane, because I can clearly see that I have a shelf full of games I haven't beaten yet, but still I buy more. I can't help it, it's like an addiction, no matter how hard I fight to sustain from buying more, I just can't. I think it's in my genes.....along with the fat gene......stupid fat gene keeping me from being skinny. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to McDonalds for a double Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fries and a Diet Coke....because I'm watching my figure.
I know technology evolves at the speed of light and honestly I'm OK with that, but in this particular situation, it just feels too soon and a little everyone is trying to beat its competitors out of the starting gate. I don't know, maybe I'm alone in this, but I just can't take the least not until a few more years.
There's just so many awesome games out and coming out that can keep us busy for a long time, that is unless you're unemployed living with your mom doing nothing else but gaming. It feels like there's so much more life left in the consoles of this generation.....well maybe not the Wii, but the PS3 and Xbox 360 for sure.
No one likes change, whether it be in life or from the exchange of paper currency, it's scientifically proven...the only change I like is that of clothing, especially underwear and can only sport the same draws for so long before you end up getting a rash.

Friday, February 8, 2013

"Video Game Misconceptions"

Video games are just for kids...

Sure there are many great titles available for kids, however, there are also many titles that are geared towards a more mature crowd.

Immersing yourself in a good video game can be just as satisfying as reading a good book, watching a well written movie/television show or even listening to your favorite song. If you remove all the mental road blocks and biases you have towards video games and truly allow yourself to be transported to the games world and into the storyline, you will find yourself in a virtual fantasy world full of lots of different emotions and wonders.

There's nothing like playing a good video game, and I'm not talking about games like Pong (even though Pong does rock), I'm talking about "AAA" titles such as Skyrim, Borderlands and Dead Space. It's like a book and movie rolled into one. You get the visual appeal and the excitement of a movie and you get transcended into the games virtual world like as if you would if you were reading a good book.

Video games aren't art...

Anyone who would make this argument obviously has never really watched a video game being played, let alone played one for themselves, which in my opinion is a very ignorant thing to do.

How can you play games like Crysis, Journey and/or Darksiders (just to name a few) and claim they aren't a form of art, of course not all, but some of these games are beautiful and ascetically pleasing to the eye and mind. I really believe that the whole "video games are just for kids" mentality is what keeps people from truly appreciating them for what they are.

I honestly can't see how some critics can say that video games aren't a form of art; if they actually took the time to experience what they really had to offer I believe they would be blown away and have a change of heart. I mean if those stupid Magic Eye pictures from the early 90's can be consider art, then why can't video games? Honestly, I only think they're stupid because I could never see the picture within the eyes were never magic enough I guess.

Video games cause violent behaviour...

This is another one of those cases where people are looking for a scapegoat, something to blame their troubles on instead of taking responsibility themselves. Granted, there are impressionable people, not just kids, that play video games who may attempt to act out what they play and/or see on the screen, but that is the minority not the majority. 

There are plenty of well adjusted people who play these games and never feel it necessary to act of what they've seen and/or played within the game.

Chris Rock said it the best, "Everybody is wanting to know what music were the kids listening to, or what movies were they watching. Who gives a (bleep) what they was watching! Whatever happened to crazy? What, you can't be crazy no more? Should we eliminate crazy from the dictionary?"

For the parents who let their kids partake in gaming, there is a rating system in place to help you decipher what is appropriate for your kids to use it.

A gamer is a nerdy immature manchild who still live with their parents...

First off, believe it or not, there are female gamers...some of which who can get down and dirty with their male counterparts without ever breaking a sweat.

Next, gamers come from all walks of life, there's a wide assortments of us. We're like shoes, we all basically do the same thing, but we come in all kinds of different shapes, sizes and colors. Who knows, your next door neighbor could be one of us, or even your significant other.

We also don't all go to conventions dressed up as our favorite video game characters either. Honestly, once was enough for me, once I got my ass kicked coming home from a convention dressed as Link from Zelda I vowed never again.

Playing video games will rot your brain...

Please, this couldn't be any further from the truth! They are just a form of entertainment and are no more harmful then say watching a movie and/or television show. There are many thought provoking games that require you to use your brain to figure out puzzles, strategies and solutions to various situation you could find yourself in. Believe it or not, it is not just zombie fun...which would be mindless for you people unfamiliar with zombies.

If anything, while playing some of these games you may actually learn something. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you will become smarter than a fifth grader, but you could end up a little more wiser then when you started.

These are just a few of the misconceptions I can think of, I'm sure there are more, but unfortunately by playing video games my whole life I have fried too many brain cells, so I can't remember the rest.


Monday, February 4, 2013

"Nerd Rage"

I was playing the Legend of Zelda II: the Adventures of Link on the NES when I died in one of the temples. Talk about bad checkpoints, when you ran out of lives in this game, you started back at the palace and had to travel all the way back to the temple you were at and start the whole thing all over again.
I had my NES on top of my TV then, and there was no such thing as wireless controllers. I got so frustrated that I threw the controller to the floor and with it being tethered to the system the NES came crashing down to the floor with it.
I jumped up out of my seat and ran to it as if it was a baby that had just fallen. Thankfully Nintendo builds a durable systems so it was OK, but every time since then I made sure my NES was on the floor instead of being up high to avoid making the same mistake again. What can I say, I was young and dumb back then, I didn't know what I was thinking. All I knew is that the NES was as important to me as my sister's Cabbage Patch Kid was to her, I even kept it in a diaper just in case it had an accident. Nintendo must make their systems out of the same alloy that Wolverines bones are made out of, because just like Timex, it takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
Nowadays companies seem to be going the cheaper route...and when it comes to technology going with the cheap version is never a good thing, it can only lead to frustration. Now food on the other hand is OK, Marshmallow Magic is just as good as Lucky Charms and half the price.
It's actually kind of odd, I don't nerd rage nearly as much as I did back in the NES/Super NES days. Now I just think it's funny when I die and I don't take it nearly as serious as I once did. I would say it's because I've matured but that would be a straight up lie, I'm still mentally a child. Don't get me wrong, I can still nerd rage with the best of them, but overall the fits have simmered a lot.
I'm sure it's because NES/SNES games are generally more challenging than modern games, with a somewhat limited saving capability augmenting that challenge to the point of cheapness. I just feel more relaxed playing games today, because they aren't as frustrating and "cheap" as they used to be? I laugh when I hear people complain about games having bad checkpoints, poor controls or being too hard, I say try a game like Ghosts and Goblins on the NES then get back to me. Old school games were punch from Tyson and you're down for the count all because your timing was off....stupid cheating Punch-Out.
Have you ever watched a new school gamer nerd rage...that crap is Linda Blair in the Exorcist scary.
Most of us gamers have smashed a controller or two in our day out of frustration while playing a game, which I’m sure plenty of us here can attest to. As far back as I can remember though, I have never, nor have I known anyone for that matter, who’s done anything really all that severe out of frustration over a game. These young gits of today however, are something else, I’ve been watching my young cousin play Call of Duty online the last few days and when he gets killed he acts like a madman, he turns into a regular Tasmanian devil. I’ve seen him freak out to the point where I was fearful he would have a heart attack if he didn’t calm down. When I watch my cousin play I could really use a blow gun with tranquilizer darts, for his safety and mine.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

"Silicone Weapons of Mass Distraction in Cyberspace"

I was wondering, does the gender of the protagonist in a video game make a difference when it comes to sales? Do you think some people actually pass by a game because the lead is a woman versus a man and vice versa? Would more people have played Bayonetta if she was a he, and on the flip side to that, did the people who play the game do so because she was a she?

For example, I was playing Bullet Witch last night (which by the way is really not all that bad of a game, especially when you can pick it up for like $5) and I noticed something that brought me to this thought. I wanted to see if there was any DLC for this game and to my surprise there was, but not the kind of DLC I was expecting, like levels and/or weapons, but more so in the form of sleazy outfits. I couldn't believe how many different ways you could dress her up, I was appalled, then I bought the school girl outfit. Anyway, back to my original point, obviously this game was called Bullet Witch with the hopes of moving units (pardon the pun), because they knew Bullet Bastard wouldn't have sold anything.

If Uncharted 2 had Lara Croft at the helm, would it have done worse, just as good or possibly even better than it did with Nathan Drake?

Is sexism still alive and well in the video game world? Would games like Mirror’s Edge, WET and Heavenly Sword have been more successful if the protagonist was male instead of female?

What if a developer has a some what decent title in the works, but ultimately knows it could most likely not stand on its own merits. Would the addition of a sexy female lead potentially boost sales in the end or hurt the bottom line, like in Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad...we all know any copies of that game that sold wasn't because of the gameplay?

We all know sex sells, which is very obvious when you see the depiction of women in gaming, and most any other form of entertainment medium for that matter. I can pretty much guarantee you won’t be seeing any female leads that look like Roseanne or Sandra Bernhard any time soon. Honestly, I can’t think of any games that have a less than attractive female at the helm, is there any that you can think of?

Some of the more recent examples of this would be Lollipop Chainsaw and Catherine.

Now of course I'm not saying this happens all the time, sometimes the theme and/or overall feel of the game requires the lead to be a female...but there are cases of boobs being thrown in with the hopes of bucks being brought in too.