Help me…I need a place to hide the cops are after me…I just dropped a giant burger patty on someone after playing Burgertime and I think I may have killed them…I swear, they looked like a giant egg.
Also, as I was playing
Gauntlet for the NES…my character Thor (the warrior) was getting mauled by all those
bastard enemies and feeling almost dead…he then ran into a ham dinner and felt
a lot better. Now I myself was feeling almost dead and pretty worn out from the
night before, so realizing the healing powers of the ham dinner I started
After playing Ghosts N'
Goblins I got arrested for indecent exposure…because I was running through the
graveyard in my boxer shorts breaking up tombstones. I also once got arrested
for jumping on people's heads and trying to escape by jumping down toilets…and
before you ask…yes there was mushrooms involved.
I then realized I was just
influenced by a video game and I started to panic! It starts with craving ham
because of Gauntlet and then I'll want to play football because of Madden or
worse yet…deliver newspapers like Paperboy!
Does anyone know if there's
some sort of "anonymous" meeting for this kind of thing, you know
like what the alcoholics have? What is one to do…I don’t want “them” to know
they’re right…because then they’ll take away all my games and leave me with
nothing but books…we all know I can’t do words…especially the big ones…like
anything five letters or more.
I feel as if I'm trying to
conceal the fact that I'm a werewolf and the full moon is about to show its
face. I'm not talking about the sexy Twilight kind of werewolf either, I mean
the older out of shape kind, and where the only way I could jump up in the air
was if I had a trampoline…or a jetpack!
I don’t know…should I just
pretend this never happened…just keep it all to myself…or should I face the
music and tell everyone “they” were right. Do you think they’ll let me
slide…give me one more chance…or just lock me in an asylum and throw away the
Am I a lost cause…is playing
video games going to land me in jail…what will they make me do next. Is there a
medication or something I can take to counteract the effects of these powerful
manipulators…or am I just screwed?
They just speak to me…tell
me to do things…they are like my mom or something…but without the cigs and the