My biggest complaint with the Star Wars franchise, strictly speaking from a movie standpoint, is that all the cool characters die quick and crappy deaths (i.e. Darth Maul and Boba Fett), while the really annoying characters seem to last forever (i.e. Jar Jar Binks).
I’m sure we can all agree that Darth Vader (Mr. Vader if you’re nasty)
was an awesome baddie, as far as I’m concerned one of the all-time best. So us
Star Wars fans didn’t really have our hopes set too high for episodes I, II and
III when it came to a new villain, I mean because who could possibly top Vader.
Then along came Darth Maul, a total badass in his own right and a worthy
successor to the throne of evil. He had the look, the attitude and of course
not one, but two lightsabers…does it get any better then that.
Unfortunately one movie was all this stud got, and then died in a fashion
that resembled something you would see in a Friday the 13th movie, split in
two, come one people what were you thinking the man deserved better than that.
They tried to outdo Darth Maul with that General Grievous fella, but if
you ask me it wasn’t even close. They should just have left well enough alone
and let Darth Maul live on and continue to kick Jedi tail all across the
universe…but no that would make way too much sense for Hollywood.
I just wish Darth Maul would have lasted all three movies; he was the
best antagonist in the new films, hands down. I mean c'mon on it's almost
impossible to find someone as badass as Vader, and when they do they cut him
short (pardon the pun).
Next we have the original bounty hunter, the one who made bounty hunting
cool in the first place, way before Dog and with a whole lot less prayers and
mullets, the man himself Boba Fett.
This man set the stage for people like Samus Aran, and if you don’t know
who she is you outta be ashamed of yourself, because without him Samus would
have been an intergalactic pizza delivery girl.
Fett kept it real, he didn’t need to tell people how bad he was, he
showed it with his actions, and his guns and cool jetpack. He made sure he was
dressed to kill, he wanted to look good when he was rounding up those bail
When someone needed a bounty hunted they knew who to call, and no, it
wasn’t the Ghostbusters, but rather the Fettmeister, the bounty hunter supreme.
Boba Fett pure awesomeness, he was the best thing since sliced astronaut
ice cream, that is until he became the desert’s dessert. What a crappy ending
for such a great character, he did not deserve to go out the way he did...he's like Rodney Dangerfield, he gets no respect.
They tried to make up for it by bringing in Jango Fett, but it just
wasn’t the same, it lacked a certain something. It’s like when a band tries to
remake a hit song, sure it’s the same song, but by no way is it just as good as
Another character that was undersold was Slave Leia, sure they didn’t kill
her off, but they did make her put on more clothes…so not cool. I’ve played
with my lightsaber on more than one occasion while fantasizing about her, I
would have loved to use the force on her.
Okay enough complaining from me, it’s time for me to blastoff, until next
time peeps…warp speed, Mr. Sulu. Sorry, I know that last line was sacrilegious
to all those Star Warsians out there in cyberspace, but I just couldn’t resist.