Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Joy Christi's "In The Game of Thrones, You Die"

Guess who's back? The incredible Joy Christi from "Comfytown Chronicles"! What can I say, her nerdy milkshake brought all the boys to my yard and now they, and of course myself, won't let her leave. So sit back and enjoy what this fabulous nerd has to say about Game of Thrones.

MJM




An interesting case study. Her spirit animal is an over-caffeinated sloth. She doesn’t exactly suffer from split personality, she enjoys it: Mostly foul-mouthed, immature hooligan and sometimes a sweet Mother of 3 doing her best.

In The Game of Thrones, You Die

Friday [September 20] was George R.R. Martin's birthday. He is the author of, among other things (believe it or not,)  the book series that HBO’s Game of Thrones show is based on. One of the best book series of all time. IMHO. Obviously.

Like I tell my family, these books are the greatest thing that has happened to me in my life. If you love to get lost in a story, look no further. This series takes you to another world, paints beautiful (and horrible) pictures and the characters are so real, they are good, they are bad, they are fiercely, wickedly evil and super-human noble.

George R.R. Martin
He is a fiction writer, he writes a blog called "Not A Blog" click there for the link, and to get a closer look at his writing, and the man as a person. He is NY Jets fan apparently. Who knew? It is more than a little amusing, to think of this man watching football, but I have to remind myself he is human.

Whether I like it or not, he is allowed other interests and activities besides writing our favorite books. *sigh*

The HBO series is how I discovered the existence of the books. Both the books and the show are beyond fantastic. I don't like most of what is on television currently, and we are insanely cheap, but we will pay for HBO just for this series. We don't have channels like USA and TBS, but we do have HBO, just because of this show.

I have a hard time reading more than a sentence a week right now, so I'm listening to the audiobooks. I highly recommend them. The reader's voice is like warm, buttery toffee flowing through your ears to gently massage your brain, whisking you away to a world of fantasy. And all the violent killing.

JK Rowling is the top, Harry Potter author
from Johnesmith.com

If you watch/read the series, you know. If you don't, let me just say....you know how you're reading a book or watching a show, and one of the main characters comes to his/her conflict, and you're worried about the character, but not really worried, because usually no matter what they have to face, you know this character is going to be all right?

Well, forget all that shit. One of the key phrases is:
“In the Game of Thrones, you win or you die.”
With 7 kingdoms at war, many, many die. 

Character Serial Killer. He keeps you guessing. Always.

This author makes you question everything, take nothing for granted, and you begin to be afraid to make assumptions, or get attached to anyone or anything. You just have to keep reading.

The story and scenery are glorious, set in fictional medieval times, my absolute favorite. The books are full of delicious sword fighting and olde timey speak like:
"She is a young, high-born maid of three and ten."

There is much talk of royal blood lines, and bastard high-borns and mead and wine and dragons, but not talking dragons like that BBC show (barf.) Adults like medieval stories, too, and we like to get lost in the fantasy of it. Nothing pops a nerd boner faster than a friendly, talking dragon.

The characters, the good, the bad and the ugly. They aren't literally ugly in the televised series of course. Because television. Unlike a lot of one-dimensional fictional characters, which are often written either all "good" or all "bad," and the author decides for you, these players are written just like actual people. The good ones can be bad, the bad ones can earn your respect, you decide for yourself, and you will change your mind. They are people, they are complex, and all are great in their own way.

Below is THEE Royal Family of all seven kingdoms in the Game of Thrones, who despite being royalty, aren't the medieval Brady Bunch loving family. This picture is hilarious because their characters are nothing like this.

Left is Tyrion Lannister, hated by his family and most others. Renowned mother-killer (not a spoiler, she died giving birth to him, and no one has forgiven him for it,) and self proclaimed god of "tits and wine," who reminds us with his schemes and plots (same thing,) that even in a time when the strongest man can claim all, brains always win over brawn.

Even though as many say "Words are wind," there are so many phenominal quotes from this book, my favorite are Tyrion's. He tells Jon Snow:
“My brother has his sword, King Robert has his warhammer and I have my mind...and a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone if it is to keep its edge. That's why I read so much."

Oh, those wacky Lannisters. One for the mantel at Casterly Rock.
from m.tapiture.com

The woman is the famously beautiful and golden Cersei Lannister, determined to change her destiny, and next to her is her twin, Jamie. They have a.....special bond.

Feelings about Jamie range widely from pity to outrage, to a strange sort of respect.

These 3 struggle to impress their barely-human tough-as-nails evil father, Tywin Lannister. He is a powerful battle commander, who has worked his whole life to make the Lannister family rich, famous and feared. There is a saying throughout the seven kingdoms that "a Lannister always pays his debts." This holds true of more than just coin.

These 3 children seem to be made of pure, molten evil but in moments of weakness, they reveal their human, redeeming qualities and make you question your initial opinion of them, and of all people.

If these pathetic, power-hungry seemingly hopeless disappointments to their father can even have good qualities, can all a-holes?

Can I? can you? We can, says Martin.

Here is Jon Snow and Samwell Tarley, two average Joes who become unlikely heroes, as the Men in Black.

 from kulfoto.com

These two have sworn to "take the black," or join The Night's Watch. This means they give their lives to protect The Wall, and live at Castle Black, take really long creepily-specific oath swearing off women and having their own families. The Wall was built to keep the white walkers, basically zombies, from going South and bothering the rest of Westeros. These zombies are fierce, fast-moving zombies. Thankfully, they never refer to them as zombies, so you're not immediately sick of them.

Jon shows us how we can become more than our mere station in life, with hard work and a fierce fortitude to keep your word, that anything is possible. Sam is not good with a sword, his sworn brothers think he is weak, but he is smart, he reads many books and despite his father's low opinion of him, he makes himself very useful to his brothers and all the Seven.

Up North on The Wall it is always snowing. That is why Jon Snow has his name. All fatherless children born in the north are given the last name of Snow. 

                                   A forecast for Westeros, where "Winter is Coming." Always.
The women especially, they are strong and fierce. One is fire-born, literally, in one of the best things that has ever happened in my life, on television or not. She is the Mother of Dragons. She overcomes the terrifying savage people her sniveling brother have pawned her off to like property, to become their fierce, fearless leader. 



from serenity2bliss.tumblr.com



Their unlikely love makes you question every thought you have ever had on love and loyalty.
Drogo calls Daenerys "Moon of my Life" and
Daenerys calls Drogo "My Sun and Stars."
I am the opposite of romantic, but if you can watch this show and not start saying that, you are probably dead inside.

One of my favorite characters is a child of 9, Arya Stark. Her family is high-born, but unlike her sister, Sansa, a noble lady who says and does exactly as she is supposed to, Arya likes sword fighting and would rather play with her direwolf, or Needle, the knife her half-brother Jon Snow gave her, than learn dancing or lady needlework.

Arya is a warg, she is able to enter the mind of her direwolf, which is just a giant wolf. Arya is a survivor, overcoming great adversity and adapting to every unimaginable thing the author throws at her. I hate to give anything away, but trust me you will love her and start calling all strong women Arya.







Her sister, Sansa, becomes an unlikely hero as well. As most characters in this world, you start out feeling one way about her, that she is a whiny little girly-girl, and soon her actions change your opinion of her.



Sansa is a proper lady, and like all girls of her station, she only wants to marry a high-born Lord and raise proper, well-mannered children. She goes on to shine a whole new light on survival, without swords and fighting, and shows a different kind of inner strength. At one point Tyrion Lannister tells her:
"Lady Sansa, you may just survive us yet."

Another amazing Westerossy woman is Brienne. (Pronounced Bry-een) A warrior in a time when women were ladies. She is awkward, over six feet tall, and in the books very unattractive, mockingly called Brienne the Beauty. Thanks to HBO she is played by a beautiful woman with short, messy hair. I can't explain why these characters are so amazing without giving things away, but she kicks major man-hams when she needs to, she is very honorable and loyal to her own detriment, you come to love her and root for her. 



Yes, you will LOVE Brienne the Beauty.

from the gothamist.com


Let’s call this post “Part One”
because that sounds better than “If I’m starting to get a little bored you definitely are.”

The other characters are as amazing and complex and multi-level, I just haven't have time to get into them. Mayhap I will come back and finish, but probably not today or "on the morrow."

I hope it was informative and you got a chuckle of out it!

Joy






Monday, January 27, 2014

“Nerd/Geek Laws”

I propose we implement some new laws, and not just any laws, but laws to protect the geeky and the nerdy, and I don’t mean protect us from jocks and/or some other kind of hate group, but rather from individuals who make life difficult for us.

The first group of people who should get jail time, or at least a ticket, are the people who spoil movies, video games or any other form of entertainment medium, on purpose or otherwise.

These people drive me freaking nuts, you clearly tell them you haven’t seen/played whatever it is they are talking about, which would be an indication to most thinking people to shut up and not proceed any further, but still these screwballs continue on and ruin the whole thing.

The next group of people who should be kicked in the ass and/or tortured as if they were withholding top secret information, are the numbskulls who turn our creepy vampires into some kind of emotional train wrecks, who sparkle in the sun rather than scream in pain.

Vampires are supposed to be scary bloodthirsty monsters, not someone you would find at a book club discussing one of those trashy romance novels with Fabio on the cover.

Then we come to the people who believe that Star Trek and Star Wars are one in the same, which anyone with half a brain can clearly see that they are not.

Just because they both deal with outer space does not mean they are both identical, that’s like saying that Dog the bounty hunter and Clifford the big red dog are the same thing because they both have the word dog in their name, well okay bad example, but you get the point.

Some people believe that  just because we like superheroes, that we like both Marvel and DC, ask any fan of the New York football Giants if they like the Dallas Cowboy, I think not.

Sure Superman is great, but there is no way in hell that he is better than, or even could beat the Incredible Hulk…nuff’ said.

We also have to people who believe that just because something has dragons in it and/or any other nerdy/geeky thing that is normal reserved for people like us, that we all just automatically love it.

News flash, we are not like those crazy sports loving men who just blindly follow and embrace everything that is considered a sport, no matter how inane it is, not hating just saying.

People who use zombies for everything and anything, there is such a thing as “too much of a good thing” you uncreative mouth breathers, when looking for something to kill for your entertainment pleasure, remember that aliens, robots and minorities are always just as good.

If you feel the need to use our undead friends for whatever it is you’re doing, please just make sure you give them the respect they deserve. 

The final group of people who need their wigs split and/or a nice firm smack upside the back of the head, are the people who think that video games are just for kids.

Nothing could be further from the truth, video games are like a good book and a movie rolled into one, and if you ever took the time to play one you’d come to see just how true this is.

These are just a few of the people who should be thrown into the clink for the ignorance and lack of nerdy/geeky insight, and if you don’t like it, you can get out of our country you troublemakers.

I’ve watched “School House Rock” as a kid, I know how this happens, we start with a bill and go from there, so let's make this happen people.

MJM

Monday, January 13, 2014

"Hot Nerdy Chicks...They Do Exist"

We all heard the stories about hot nerdy women, the babes who play video games, read comics books and avoid chick flicks like Leonard Hofstadter avoids dairy.


We never really believed it to be true though, kind of like Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny and a government for the people, we figured they were just something made up to make us feel good about ourselves and our sad little lives.


Guess what? I actually found two of them, and not only do I have pictures, but I also have answers to the questions we all dreamt of asking them, so sit back, relax and got your box of tissues because you’re about to have a nerdgasm.

 


(Color coded so you know who answered what)

Terrye Toombs




Starr Bryson



1. F, marry, kill; Chupacabra, Bigfoot and Chewbacca?

Terrye: F: Bigfoot cuz he’s built like a brick shithouse. I’d video it and sell the sex tape to TMZ so I could make millions and I’d have proof that the big guy is real (and hung). I could launch his next career as a porn star.

Marry: Chewbacca cuz he’s got fame and fortune and I’m not above interstellar gold digging (and he’s best friends with that smokin’ hot Han Solo whom I could diddle on the side when Chewie wasn’t home. I’m also not above a little side nookie to keep shit interesting).

Kill: Chupracabra. I hear they’re tasty and Chewie isn’t really picky about dinner. I understand that the new cryptozoology slogan is “Chupracabra; the other, OTHER white meat.”

Starr: Chupacabra scares the living shit out of me.  When I was a kid I was certain he lurked in the desert just beyond the safety of the fence in my backyard; biding his time until he could sneak in through the window and eat my face off.  So he dies.

I would fuck Bigfoot because I’d definitely want to marry Chewbacca.  Who wouldn’t?

2. Your significant other likes to talk derdy (dirty/nerdy) in the bedroom; they say things like “play with my joystick” and “I want to plug my flash drive into your USB port” do you amuse them or do you shoot them down like an enemy jet in restricted air space?

Terrye: Even better, I’d challenge him to a game of Strip The Last of Us. Last person standing gets to call the shots in the bedroom game of Chutes and Ladders.

Starr: Wait, I’m usually the one saying things like that.  That’s not normal?

3. Cosplay, okay for the bedroom or only for conventions?

Terrye: BOTH! Are you kidding? Nothing tests out your costume like a little pre-convention dry (or super-hot and wet) run.

Starr: Cosplay is good for comic-cons, the bedroom, going to the store for groceries and lounging around the house.  It’s always fun to dress up.

4. A lab experiment gone awry, a radioactive bug bites you or you’re injected with a super soldier formula, no matter how it comes to be, you are granted superpowers, what would they be and would you fight on the side of good or evil?

Terrye: I’d hope for the intelligence of Batman with the powers of Spiderman with a side of Catwoman without the high heels. Nothing more embarrassing than a clumsy super hero.

As for the whole good or evil thing, I think there’s a little of each in both of us. It would have to depend on my mood that particular day. If I were mensing, I would definitely be all for the side of evil and my kryptonite would be dark chocolate and top shelf whiskey. Ah hell, I’ll just go for evil cuz it’s easier than trying to behave all the damn time!

Starr: I would like to be telepathic with telekinesis powers.  Reading minds and kicking asses with furniture and dogs I throw around with a wave of my hand.  It’d be like using The Force.   (There’s a few bitches I’d love to Force choke.)

Or, I’d want the power to mess with time.  Imagine if you could just pause time while you continue to do what you need to do (sleep, finish writing a novel, masturbate, whatever) and then start it up again and no time has passed!  Time traveling would be awesome, but that gets tricky with the paradoxes.

I would not choose a side.  I want to be one of those Super-Whatevers that could be considered neutral- neither good nor bad.  I want the word “semantics” used in conversations about me.  Y’know?  Like Bobba Fett- he’s not really a bad guy, he’s just doing his job.  It’s all semantics.

5. Forget Democrat/Republican, you find the person of your dreams and they are a Star Trek/Star Wars fan (the opposite of whatever you are), do you make it work or is there no way in hell you would be caught dead with one of them?

Terrye: I’ve recently figured out that I’m an independent in the political realm. As for the space realm, I tend to go my own way as well, and prefer the tribe of Predators. With that being said, I would have to kidnap the man of my dreams, transport him to an isolated planet, and hunt his ass down before I claimed my prize. I’ll let you use your naughty imagination for that subplot.

Starr: I’m one of those really rare anomalies that enjoy both Star Wars and Star Trek.

My issues lie in the fact that The Gamer has this delusional notion that Picard is the better Captain.  We all know Kirk is superior in every way, even his crew is more bad-ass. 

This causes a lot of contention in our home so we’ve waved the white flags and have moved on in agreement that Doctor Who is better than both Star Treks and Star Wars.

I recommend this school of thought for any nerd couples that face the Star Trek VS Star Wars age-old argument.  The Doctor wins.  Every single time.

6. Your significant other decides they want to take over the world; do you help them plan it out or tell them to knock it off and just go to sleep?

Terrye: If they are my significant other, it’s only because I allowed them to live. And they live only to serve me. I have already concurred the world and have my heart set on the universe.

Starr: When my significant other informs me of his plans to take over the world, they had better include me!

I have great ideas, y’know.

7. After watching The Walking Dead, your significant other creeps into the bedroom like a zombie, do you get it on zombie style or do you tell him to grow up and go take out the garbage?

Terrye: He can be the zombie and I’d go Daryl on his ass; tie him to the bed and torture my zombie until his skin fell off.

Starr: Are we both role-playing Zombies in this scenario or just him?  *shrug* I’m game either way.

8. There’s an all-day marathon of The Big Bang Theory on television, do you forgo your daily responsibilities (which includes picking the kids up from school) and watch it, or do you turn off the television like a mature adult?

Terrye: I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested! I’ve watched every episode at least twice and have the current season scheduled on my DVR. So, I can pretend to be a mature adult and get my BBT on after the munchkin in quietly in bed. With an adult beverage.

Starr: Why would The Tinys be in school that day?  I’m calling them out sick.  My boys are playing hooky and watching the marathon with me.

9. The apocalypse happened; you’re the last person alive and about to catch a space ship to a new world, your suitcase can only hold three things, what do you bring?

Terrye: The recipe for whiskey, a towel (because you never know when you’ll need one), and my electronic gadgets.

Starr: Well, as Ford Prefect says, “If you want to survive out here, you've got to know where your towel is,” so I would have to pack my towel.

I have so many books and movies I wouldn’t want to leave behind but if I take Harley Quinn (my laptop) then I would have access to e-books, movies and the ability to write.   (Assuming they offer Wi-Fi and Netflix in Space)

Wait, I need three more things!  How can I cheat this?   I’ll wear the towel and hide a purple pen inside my journal, which will go into the suitcase with Harley and a bottle of rum.

Because a girl’s got to have her priorities.

10. You’re lying in bed with your significant other and you have to fart, do you excuse yourself to the bathroom like a lady or do you release the beast in bed, possibly even give them a Dutch oven if the opportunity is there?

Terrye: I’d mummify his ass and pipe it in til he cried “my life for a bowl of fruitloops! Princess Bride is the best non-scifi movie ever made!”

Starr: Dutch ovens are just disgusting – even for me- but I have no problem with farting loud and proud.  In fact, my farts are really loud and sound like quacking ducks, I wouldn’t want to keep all the funny to myself.  I share it.

11. Video games, only for kids or a great source of entertainment?

Terrye: If wielded in the proper hands, video games are a great source of entertainment and keep the kids occupied (read: out of their parent’s hair) for hours, allowing the parents to not only conquer the world, but fend off hordes of zombies and predatory aliens.

Have you noticed that aliens and zombies have a lot in common? They both want us for our bodies.

Starr: Video games are fan-fucking-tastic.  

12. You see a chick flirting with your significant other; do you give him an earful or beat the bitch down and claim your property?

Terrye: A beat down would be too good for her. I’d drive her to the heart of the zombie apocalypse, push her ass out of my truck, shoot her in the knee and leave her to ponder her mistake until the zombies chew through to her brain.

Starr: Wait, what?  Someone else would flirt with him?  Snort.  Let him flirt, where’s the bar?

13. Comic books, perfectly suitable reading material or a total waste of time and not even fit to line a bird cage?

Terrye: Comic books are the 21st century equivalent of the Rosetta Stone.

Starr: I will knock someone’s fucking head off if I saw them lining a bird cage with a Comic Book.  What kind of twat waffle would do that!?

Did you not notice what I named my laptop?  Comic Books are awesome and deserve the same amount of respect as other books.

14. Sleeping attire, Victoria’s Secret undergarments, or a t-shirt and a pair of underoos with your favorite superhero on them?  

Terrye: Sunday thru Thursday: Ripley tank top and panties
Friday & Saturday: Princess Leia slave outfit

Starr: T-shirt (with something nerdy on it) and Wonder Woman underooos.

15. You find your significant other bopping his bologna to his favorite fictional character; do you surprise him by dressing like that character the next time you’re in the bedroom or call him a pervert and throw him and all his shit out of the window?

Terrye: I would dress as his favorite fictional character and make him dress as mine. Then we battle to the death or until someone cries “uncle.” Then bump uglies like bunnies staring down the end of the world.

Starr: Neither.  Haha, I would tease him for the rest of his life.  In fact, I would strategically place little actions figures of said character all over the house and his car posed in naughty sexual positions.  And I would laugh.  Oh, how I would laugh.

16. Halloween, do you dress up or is it just for the kids?

Terrye: Every night is Halloween and it’s for anyone brave enough. Dress at your own risk, but we warned that mad, drunken orgies have been known to break out. Eyes Wide Shut.

Starr: I spend an entire year assimilating my costume.  Because Halloween is serious business.

17. Time to play, girl toy or boy toy, are you a Barbie girl or a kickass hero/badass villain?

Terrye: Badass villain through and through. And I like the weapons to double as sex toys.

Starr: Barbies are lame.  Give me Legos and action figures.

18. Scary movies with the lights off or a chick flick with a box of tissues?

Terrye: Aliens, aliens, and more aliens! Unless there are zombies! With a buzz from my favorite cocktail. With the lights off, the sound turned up and in surround so I can FEEL the guts being ripped out of the stupid and unsuspecting victim.

Starr: Scary movies with the lights off, because sappy shit is for girls.

19. You hear people quoting lines from their favorite movies/television shows, do you join in the fun or are you too sophisticated for that kind of nonsense?

Terrye: Join in but only recite quotes in Klingon or Romulan. I’d also make sure that they quoted correctly. Any misquote would result in Discommendation…immediately!

Starr: I’d join in.  On a daily basis, I don’t think I get through a single hour without quoting or referencing a show or movie.

20. You’re at Walmart/Target, do you spend all your time in the clothes and jewelry sections or head over to the toys and electronic sections to see what’s up?

Terrye: Bee line for the electronics to check on the latest techo-gadgets, then to the blue ray section to pick up something for my library. After that, it’s off to Toys by way of the book section before hitting the snack aisle to select the perfect munching accompaniment for the latest scifi viewing marathon once we get home. Afterwards, acting out our favorite scenes with or without the action figures but always in costume.

Starr: There’s a jewelry and clothing section in Walmart?

I must have missed that while I was busy having light saber battles and playing the video games.

Extra Credit:
21. Vampires, glittery and in touch with their feelings like in Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight or gritty and bloodthirsty like something you would find in a Stephen King book?

Terrye: I prefer originality, so if that means sparkly vampires, then so be it. Those are far scarier than anything the mediocre Stephen King could ever come up with. He just regurgitates characters created by others and tries to pass them off as his own original thoughts in recycled and boring story lines.

As for sparkly vampires, could you imagine going to a movie with your vampire and when the lights came on, they began to sparkle? That would instantly make them a target for every Neanderthal-like, backwards thinking imbecile under the roof, thinking they had to exude manliness by attempting to bully said sparkly vampire.

They would come in handy at Gay Pride parades and Girl Scout jamborees: instant attention grabbers because everyone would want to ‘touch the sparkle.’

Starr: Those THINGS in that moronic “writer’s” (and I use the title very loosely here) books are not Vampires.  They don’t even have fangs! They’re fucking fairies, and in fact, the fairies in the Sookie Stackhouse (True Blood) novels kick more ass than Edward and friends.

While Mr. King is my literary hero, and I rather enjoy Salem’s Lot- still not my favorite.

Give me the vampires from True Blood, the Anita Blake novels, or Anne Rice’s books.  They’re also sexy and engage in some emotions, but only to a certain extent.  They’re still bad ass mother fuckers and not pansy ass bitches like the Cullens.  (But they have that “human side” to them instead of being mindless monsters.)

Braham Stoker’s Dracula was a pretty rad dude, too.


So there you have it, proof that they do exist, and they are just as cool as we thought they would be.

Make sure you visit all my fabulous guests (links below their pics) and show them just how much you appreciate them opening up and being honest with you. 

MJM

Monday, January 6, 2014

“The Teabag Party”

“Do you feel lucky punk” is a phrase that best describes my play style when it comes to multiplayer games such as Call of Duty, Halo and Battlefield, and not because I’m a badass like Dirty Harry, but rather because I do feel lucky when I get a kill and/or don’t get killed myself.

I play like I am Elmer Fudd on crack, I stroll around the map hunting the opponent like as if they were Daffy Duck and when I finally find them I shoot like a spaz, wasting a whole clip in the process and hitting everything but him/her, then to add insult to injury they kill me with a knife while I’m reloading.

I use any weapon that I believe will give me a fighting chance, even if it means getting nasty messages from other players after the match ends telling me how I suck and should be killed in a horrible car accident for being “cheap”, and that is even with a record of one kill and twenty-seven deaths under my belt.

I don’t know what to do, I’m too impatient to be a camper, and I can’t shoot worth shit to be a sniper, so I just roam around the map aimlessly like a senile old man in the electronics section of Walmart looking for a VHS copy of a John Wayne movie hoping to get a kill or two.

During the match I would hear my so-called teammates heckling me, like as if I was the court jester and they were the king’s court, they would be yelling at me for constantly dying and at the same time laughing it up about how bad I was playing, it’s not easy being a noob in this day and age.

I have been teabagged more times than I can count or wish to recollect, I have been cursed out by people than a meter maid and my mom has gotten busy with just about everyone in cyberspace, but you know what it’s a heck of a lot fun and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

I know what you’re thinking, why play these game if they are that much trouble, well they are a lot of fun and kind of addicting, they are like cyberspace crack and I’m a straight up crackhead…but for the record, I never sucked someone off for a kill.

Well I will see you around the virtual battlefield people, and if I’m playing against, you’re welcome for the guaranteed kill, and if I’m on your team, sorry I lost the game for you and please don’t “do” my mom because of it.

MJM

Thursday, January 2, 2014

“The Nerdy Side of Life: New Years Resolutions”

Here’s another new year, so I guess it’s time to make some of those “resolutions” that I really don’t plan on keeping just to make myself, and society, feel better about who we are and for eating/spending too much during this past holiday season.

I’m not really sure how a new number on the calendar will mean a new and better life for me, but what can I say, we are told to do it so I’m going to be a good little boy and do as I’m told…especially with the NSA keeping tabs on me.

My resolutions are as follows, and in no particular order:

I will... 

Play more video games; I will also clean out my backlog and not allow all the hype over the PS4/Xbox One to sway me into buying one and breaking the bank in the process.

Tell as many people as possible about The Walking Dead, about how good the show is and how they should be watching it, because if it goes off the air for poor rating I’m going to be really pissed.

Start a ban on any so-called “new” music, television show and/or movie that is just a remake of something older, that way people will need to come up with something fresh and original.

Set up my house to look like Sheldon’s apartment from The Big Bang Theory, then drug all my friends and dress them up like the characters on the show, that way I would have my own life-size playset. Bazinga!

Play in some toxic waste and/or radiation with the hopes of becoming a superhero, or supervillain, all depending on my mood at the time of the experiment.

Fight to get Michael Bay kicked out of Hollywood, at least the part that is responsible for taking our beloved 80s franchises and making them into movies, because if you haven’t noticed yet, he sucks like Monica Lewinsky.

Well there you have it; those are my New Years resolutions for this year…wish me luck.

MJM