Monday, January 27, 2014

“Nerd/Geek Laws”

I propose we implement some new laws, and not just any laws, but laws to protect the geeky and the nerdy, and I don’t mean protect us from jocks and/or some other kind of hate group, but rather from individuals who make life difficult for us.

The first group of people who should get jail time, or at least a ticket, are the people who spoil movies, video games or any other form of entertainment medium, on purpose or otherwise.

These people drive me freaking nuts, you clearly tell them you haven’t seen/played whatever it is they are talking about, which would be an indication to most thinking people to shut up and not proceed any further, but still these screwballs continue on and ruin the whole thing.

The next group of people who should be kicked in the ass and/or tortured as if they were withholding top secret information, are the numbskulls who turn our creepy vampires into some kind of emotional train wrecks, who sparkle in the sun rather than scream in pain.

Vampires are supposed to be scary bloodthirsty monsters, not someone you would find at a book club discussing one of those trashy romance novels with Fabio on the cover.

Then we come to the people who believe that Star Trek and Star Wars are one in the same, which anyone with half a brain can clearly see that they are not.

Just because they both deal with outer space does not mean they are both identical, that’s like saying that Dog the bounty hunter and Clifford the big red dog are the same thing because they both have the word dog in their name, well okay bad example, but you get the point.

Some people believe that  just because we like superheroes, that we like both Marvel and DC, ask any fan of the New York football Giants if they like the Dallas Cowboy, I think not.

Sure Superman is great, but there is no way in hell that he is better than, or even could beat the Incredible Hulk…nuff’ said.

We also have to people who believe that just because something has dragons in it and/or any other nerdy/geeky thing that is normal reserved for people like us, that we all just automatically love it.

News flash, we are not like those crazy sports loving men who just blindly follow and embrace everything that is considered a sport, no matter how inane it is, not hating just saying.

People who use zombies for everything and anything, there is such a thing as “too much of a good thing” you uncreative mouth breathers, when looking for something to kill for your entertainment pleasure, remember that aliens, robots and minorities are always just as good.

If you feel the need to use our undead friends for whatever it is you’re doing, please just make sure you give them the respect they deserve. 

The final group of people who need their wigs split and/or a nice firm smack upside the back of the head, are the people who think that video games are just for kids.

Nothing could be further from the truth, video games are like a good book and a movie rolled into one, and if you ever took the time to play one you’d come to see just how true this is.

These are just a few of the people who should be thrown into the clink for the ignorance and lack of nerdy/geeky insight, and if you don’t like it, you can get out of our country you troublemakers.

I’ve watched “School House Rock” as a kid, I know how this happens, we start with a bill and go from there, so let's make this happen people.



  1. I cannot begin to tell you how much I love this! The moment you referenced jocks as a hate group, I was hooked!

    1. Thank you very much my friend, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

  2. OMG, MJM! I think I'm falling in love with you! LOL! Excellent!

    1. Thank you very much, and I'm perfectly fine with having groupies...just for the record.

  3. Too true. My husband is playing Star Wars Old Republic next to me, as I drink watery juice from my Sheldon Cooper "Your Head Will Now Explode" cup, which I think is the SAME picture as the picture you have here.
    And I'm certain there is a circle of hell, complete with anal probes, for people who put SPOILERS directly in their social media posts. It's shitty enough being poor, you really have to pick our scabs?

    1. Amen to that my sister friend! Tell the bitches and bastards what time it is.

  4. How about we set up an 'Authentic Zombies and Vampires Preservation Society'? I'm sure it would catch on.